I think I died a long time ago.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I need to align my fucking chakras
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
