You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
