The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
