I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
