I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
