just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
