So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
