So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
