is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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