Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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