If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
