I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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