just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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