just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I just found a bag of teeth...
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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