Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i think my tv is drunk
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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