Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
