I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
