Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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