You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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