I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
