jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
if only i could text you this smell
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
NoShamevember. You game?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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