Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
