I need help removing her.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
