Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
