OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
