Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
