i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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