i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
My breasts were aching with rage.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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