When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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