dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i just google imaged poop.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
