Your tits are I can't wait for
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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