I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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