Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
