wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
