I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
