He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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