I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
The Olympian is in my bed
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
