Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
