I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
