no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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