Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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