Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
