but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
