my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
