Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just found puke in my bra..
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Randomize
