I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
