omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
