no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
