im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
