No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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