dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i think i have herpe
just one?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
